Being the Real Deal

God’s Best for You—Sexually

by Maj C. Joshua Keesal, USA

An excerpt from The Real Deal by C. Joshua Keesal.
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Maintaining my sexual purity has been the hardest struggle of my life.

The Special Forces world is an adventurous, intense one. The men live on the edge and take it to the extreme every day. Living a life like this is very conducive to partying like every day is your last. I know countless warriors (married and single) who party and sleep around like they are rock stars.

Sexual purity is a topic we do not discuss too often these days. I challenge you to count how many times in your favorite TV show, or during that favorite TV night, that you see sexual references, affairs, premarital and/or casual sex, homosexuality, and marketing based on "buy this product and get laid" or "get laid and you will be happy."

All you have to do to see the effects of these lies is to look at statistics for divorce, unwanted pregnancies, abortions, and STDs. God always wants our best. Following His plan is the only assured method for true joy and peace.

God called me to be a soldier, but also to be a godly warrior who models the Christian walk among this group of men. It has been a very hard adventure since the day I signed in. A sergeant major once asked me in the presence of "the boys" if I was a hypocrite Christian like every other Christian he knew, only following the parts of the Bible that were easy to follow, or if I followed everything in the Bible.

I explained to him that everyone is a hypocrite, especially me, and that is why we all need God. I also told him that I try my hardest to follow all of God's design. He then said: "You are thirty-four years old and I have heard you make references to a girlfriend here and there. Are you telling me that you have never slept with any of these girls?"

You should have seen the look on his face when I told him that I had not slept with a single one of them and that I was waiting to have sex until I was married.

When I made the decision in college that I was going to follow God's plan for purity and not follow the world's plan of "schlinging it" every opportunity I could find, I had no idea His plan would make me wait so long.... that His plan would be so difficult.

I do have sexual needs and desires. And yet, by God's grace, I have been able to wait, and sometimes even wait patiently. I know this has paid off in my witness in the Special Forces and elsewhere.

For those of you who are single like me, I recommend that you stay active in serving God and others so as to take the emphasis off of yourself. Pray for your purity and for your future spouse, even if you do not know her yet.

During times of loneliness I have tried some of the rip-off and counterfeit ways to fill the void that can only be filled by God. They are all junk.... all lies.

God created sex to be something magnificent between husband and wife within the confines of a loving, healthy marriage. The sexual urges we all feel must be satisfied by our spouses only. If we seek other means of expressing these urges, something is going to happen that was not part of God's original plan.

To the married guy, make a decision to honor your wife and your legacy through your children by living as pure a life as you, with the help of the Almighty, can live. Pray for your spouse's purity as well. Set the example and standard for purity in your family. Be the man that God and your family would want you to be. Be the Real Deal.

And know this: porn is from the Devil. Porn creates unrealistic expectations. Porn is not reality.... [It] erodes trust and satisfaction and ultimately challenges the intimacy that God designed for you to have with your spouse.

If you struggle with Internet temptations, find an accountability partner, password-protect all sites but your e-mail, sign up for one of those programs that forwards your Internet surfing history to a friend, get an Internet filter, or write more letters with a pen and paper.

Flee from sexual immorality.

One of the best ways we can honor and love God is by maintaining our physical purity. Especially in today's sex-laden world, maintaining a pure body and heart is extremely difficult. But with God's help anything is possible.

Joshua, who endeavors "to honor God with every aspect of my life," has served multiple deployments as a member of the Special Forces. A graduate of the Virginia Military Institute and Harvard, Joshua wrote the Real Deal as a challenge and call to men in grasping godly masculinity.

 

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