The Military Spouse


Scripture speaks of a spouse in marriage as a “helpmate” – This could not be more true or more important than in military marriages. Military life challenges marital and family unity, health, and fruitfulness in unique ways. But for those wives and husbands (and children) whom the Lord calls to serve Him in the military, one’s spouse is a vital mate, encourager, coworker, servant, leader, and witness in this secular environment and several assignments.

Scripture References

Study the following biblical references and consider how they address the questions listed below. If using this outline with a Small Group, consider assigning different Scriptures to different individuals and relating them to one or more of the questions. Then scroll down the page to review our recommended resources for the topic of Stages of Growing as a Christian and consider how the various articles or podcasts provide further insights relating to this topic.

Genesis 2:18-24; Job 2:1-10; 1 Samuel 19:1-17; 1 Samuel 25:1-42; Ezekiel 24:15-27; Hosea 1:1-11; 2:14-20; 3:1-5; Matthew 1:18-25; Acts 18:1-6, 18-19, 24-28; Revelation 19:9;21:1-3, 9-10.


  1. Do you understand how you and your marriage mate, as helpmates to each other – in Creation imagery – complement each other and grow into one? Talk and pray about this with your spouse.
  2. Are you an encourager, not a pessimist nor a critic – like Job’s wife – for your mate? How?
  3. How do you protect your spouse from discouragement, criticism, and opposition?
  4. When has your spouse – like Abigail – interceded for and/or covered you? How?
  5. Is your mate “the delight of your eye” and heart – like Ezekiel’s? How can you deepen this for her/him against any who might tempt you from your marriage commitment?
  6. Has adultery broken your marriage or that of a military friend? Seek the Lord’s guidance to forgive, reform, and reunite your (or another’s) marriage – like Hosea.
  7. How did God lead you two together? Do you trust Him – like Joseph – to hold you together when there are strains, storms, and struggles?
  8. Do you seek and accept insights and ideas from your spouse? If so, how? If not, why?
  9. Who is discipling you? Who might you and your mate host into your home – Like Priscilla and Aquila – to fellowship, encourage, and disciple them or to share Christ in Bible study?
  10. How can you strengthen your relationship with your spouse – like the God-Israel and Christ-Church marriage imagery in scripture – to present her/him unto the Lord?

Recommended Resources

Following are a series of carefully selected resources that provide perspectives and experiences of various authors, most having military experience. These articles and podcasts are intended to stimulate further thinking and reflective application for individuals or to act as the basis of discussion in small groups.