The Military Spouse2019-09-30T13:14:53-06:00

The Military Spouse


Scripture speaks of a spouse in marriage as a “helpmate” – This could not be more true or more important than in military marriages. Military life challenges marital and family unity, health, and fruitfulness in unique ways. But for those wives and husbands (and children) whom the Lord calls to serve Him in the military, one’s spouse is a vital mate, encourager, coworker, servant, leader, and witness in this secular environment and several assignments.

Scripture References

Study the following biblical references and consider how they address the questions listed below. If using this outline with a Small Group, consider assigning different Scriptures to different individuals and relating them to one or more of the questions. Then scroll down the page to review our recommended resources for the topic of Stages of Growing as a Christian and consider how the various articles or podcasts provide further insights relating to this topic.

Genesis 2:18-24; Job 2:1-10; 1 Samuel 19:1-17; 1 Samuel 25:1-42; Ezekiel 24:15-27; Hosea 1:1-11; 2:14-20; 3:1-5; Matthew 1:18-25; Acts 18:1-6, 18-19, 24-28; Revelation 19:9;21:1-3, 9-10.


  1. Do you understand how you and your marriage mate, as helpmates to each other – in Creation imagery – complement each other and grow into one? Talk and pray about this with your spouse.
  2. Are you an encourager, not a pessimist nor a critic – like Job’s wife – for your mate? How?
  3. How do you protect your spouse from discouragement, criticism, and opposition?
  4. When has your spouse – like Abigail – interceded for and/or covered you? How?
  5. Is your mate “the delight of your eye” and heart – like Ezekiel’s? How can you deepen this for her/him against any who might tempt you from your marriage commitment?
  6. Has adultery broken your marriage or that of a military friend? Seek the Lord’s guidance to forgive, reform, and reunite your (or another’s) marriage – like Hosea.
  7. How did God lead you two together? Do you trust Him – like Joseph – to hold you together when there are strains, storms, and struggles?
  8. Do you seek and accept insights and ideas from your spouse? If so, how? If not, why?
  9. Who is discipling you? Who might you and your mate host into your home – Like Priscilla and Aquila – to fellowship, encourage, and disciple them or to share Christ in Bible study?
  10. How can you strengthen your relationship with your spouse – like the God-Israel and Christ-Church marriage imagery in scripture – to present her/him unto the Lord?

Recommended Resources

Following are a series of carefully selected resources that provide perspectives and experiences of various authors, most having military experience. These articles and podcasts are intended to stimulate further thinking and reflective application for individuals or to act as the basis of discussion in small groups.

Speak my language

Marriage is hard enough for the everyday civilian. But add in the unique challenges of deployments, frequent moves, and high-pressure situations, and it’s no wonder military marriages are under stress.

Love Languages for Military Couples | Episode 016

What comes to mind when you hear “Acts of Service?” How about “Words of Affirmation” or “Quality Time?” You might recognize them as 3 of the 5 love languages from the popular book first written by Dr. Gary Chapman back in 1995. In this episode, OCF managing editor Karen Fliedner chats with Jocelyn Green about Finding Your Love Language…at the intersection of faith, family, and profession.

Double Duty

An excerpt from Hope for the Home Front: Winning the Emotional and Spiritual Battles of a Military Wife by Marshéle Carter Waddell.

24. A Shared Calling Isn’t Always Easy

Anne Borcherding talks about what it means for a military spouse to embrace the calling of the spouse who is serving in uniform, and she candidly shares the struggles she and her husband faced in the early years of their marriage.

Additional Resources

OCF offers many extra resources as you continue digging into the subdomain of The Military Spouse.

From Mid to Married to Mom

We’ve been through a lot in our four short years of marriage, but it’s been exciting to look back and see how God has been a part of it all, especially in the last two years. God poured out countless blessings on my husband in the pursuit of his dreams, making it through the arduous training without any major injuries or setbacks. I couldn’t be prouder of him!

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