(Season 2, Episode 2)

Today, Capt Becky Haggerty, USAF, shares her story of military life at the intersection of faith, family, and profession.

Captain Becky Haggerty, USAF, admiring a Utah sunset after a long hikeThis episode starts with an original composition from Becky called “I Speak.” She wrote the song in 2015 and says it’s about praying to God and feeling like He’s just not hearing you. That’s a theme that she says would become more applicable in the coming years. You see, Becky’s story is one of battling through anxiety and self-worth. It’s a story that tells of her journey to be in a right relationship with her Heavenly Father even when it seems like life sometimes has more valleys than mountaintops, even when it seems like God just doesn’t care.

As you listen to Becky’s story, here are four questions to ponder:

  1. In her song, Becky sings about speaking to God and feeling as if He isn’t hearing her. Can you recall a time in your military career (or life) when you wondered the same thing? What was your response?
  2. Are you struggling with a mentality of perfectionism, or some of the attributes that often accompany it—inadequacy, self-worth, and self-hate? What do you think drives you to strive for being perfect?
  3. How do you cope with the stresses of military life? What spiritual support systems do you have in place?
  4. When you face trials and tribulations, and life just isn’t going as planned, do you find yourself wanting to rush to the mountaintop and focus on being only optimistic, or do you take time to rest in your struggles and see how God might be trying to grow you—even if it’s uncomfortable? Why?

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Comment below or email me at podcast@ocfusa.org or josh.jackson@ocfusa.org.

You can listen to her song in its entirety at the end of the episode, starting at 40:27. Here are the lyrics to “I Speak”:

I speak.

I speak, can you hear me?

Lord, can you hear me?

And I speak,

Cause they tell me you’re near.

So I speak.

And I speak.

But I don’t know where we’re headed, or where we’ll go.

And I can’t see in the distance what you already know.

And I can’t feel your redemption washing me as white as snow.

So I let go,

Give you control,

And I speak, on my knees.

Lord, teach me to trust you.

Cause you’re all I have.

I’m alive through you.

So with this breath in my lungs, these scars on my heart…

I’m here, nowhere to start,

So I speak.

And I speak.

Cause you hear me.

You’re near; hear my prayers.

Yes, you’re near; hear my prayers. (repeats twice)

God, I can’t see beyond me. I can’t let go.

At times I feel so hopeless. Why is this so?

Help me to hand to you my heart, my mind, my soul.

Jesus, let’s go… we’ll walk this road.

Jesus, you know… mine eyes please show.

When I speak.

About Becky

Captain Becky Haggerty is a tactical IT communications/cyber officer, currently stationed at Hill Air Force Base in Utah. She’s served for 8 years, including 4 years stationed in Europe followed by two combat deployments to the Middle East over the last 4 years. She will soon be transitioning to the Air National Guard to continue her career part-time as a Foreign Area Officer while pursuing a civilian helicopter career full-time, Lord willing. But above it all, she desires to be open & submit to whatever God’s plans are for her life, so that He may be glorified in & through her for the sake of His Kingdom so that people may be saved by Jesus Christ. She earned her commissioned via Air Force ROTC at the University of Delaware, and is originally from Weymouth, MA.

About OCF Crosspoint

OCF Crosspoint is a biweekly podcast produced by Officers' Christian Fellowship and is dedicated to sharing stories of military life at the intersection of faith, family, and profession.

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